Guest Blog: Mike's Typical Gaoshu Day

Hi! Mike Long here. I've been visiting Eileen for about three weeks now and have totally fallen in love with Taiwan, and in particular, her lovely town of Gaoshu. I thought I'd take over Eileen's blog for a day and show you my typical day in Taiwan's beautiful south.

First thing most days, I eat a ton of delicious fruit. Taiwan has introduced me to a variety of fruits that I had never seen or tasted before, and many are grown right here in Gaoshu. It's tough to keep up with all the bags of ripe, beautiful fruit that people seem to give us every day. So far, my favorites are Dragonfuit, Starfruit, and Wax Apples (not pictured, but still delicious).

Many days, I hang out with Shu Shu, Eileen's host father/landlord. He's super cool. He has a huge garage where he fixes many of the gigantic trucks that roll through town. When he has free time, he welds the spare parts into sculptures.

One day after welding, Shu Shu and I did some local campaigning for the upcoming election. It wasn't quite what I expected. Apparently shooting fireworks in Gaoshu is a very casual activity. To be performed anywhere - if you have a lot of big ones to launch, the best place is from the back of a small truck. Smaller fireworks can be launched from your driveway or garbage can.

Meanwhile, Eileen is at school, monitoring the scooter dropoff zone, or being mobbed by her adoring fans. I have to say, all of the kids in this town are super cute, and they all totally love Eileen Laoshi.



After school is when the real fun begins. Eileen picks me up on her scooter for our afternoon exploration. Often her co-teacher, Edward, will be our tour guide. Riding scooters is the most efficient, and most fun way to explore the local area .

We take trips to other towns, trips to waterfalls, or sometimes just go for a bike ride.


When evening comes, it's time for music. Whether it's laying down some jams while teaching the local fire department English, or auditioning for Gaoshu's number one metal band, we always try to shred late into the night.



Then after some more fireworks, and perhaps a late night snack of a sausage stuffed inside another sausage, it's bed time. Gotta rest up for the next day of Taiwanese adventures.


Thanks for all the good times Taiwan!

the mike has landed

a week and a day ago, mike landed in southern taiwan. a week before that, he landed in hong kong. we arranged to meet in this very modern and very special administrative region (SAR) of the people's republic of china (PRC, not to be confused with ROC) because shirley and kemal were hosting a wedding banquet for shirley's extended hong kong family. our time in this SAR of the PRC was characterized by skyscrapers, escalators, dim sum, bruce lee's likeness, the largest seated outdoor bronze buddha in the world, and the marvelous shirley and kemal. after my whirlwind 48-hour introduction to the freest capitalist economy in the world (highest ranked 15 years running), we headed for the ROC.

during mike's first week, we burned the candle at every possible end. mr chung took us to fo guang shan, the largest buddhist monastery in taiwan. fo guang shan means "mountain of buddha's light," and it is home to many monks, wisdom-seekers, and buddha statues.

during other non-working hours, we toured meinong (a center of hakka culture), ate stinky tofu and banana ice with red beans in cishan, had dinner with mr chung's family (the chungs), guest lectured at a surreal utopian high school, provided live accompaniment for gaoshu fire department's "hotel california" rehearsal, did lead vocals on "hotel california" with gaoshu's #1 metal band, and finally went south for some kenting-style R & R.

photos: the big tian tan buddha at ngong ping on lantau island; buddha staircase at fo guang shan monastery in kaohsiung, taiwan; big golden buddha in front of wall of tiny buddhas at fo guang shan; radiant and wonderful shu-shu beneath a truck

triumph & celebrity

life in taiwan has been so many things: enrapturing, bewildering, intoxicating, overpowering, educational... and lately, funny. language barriers and foreigner social status can give a special spice to life.

a month ago, karin and i decided to run the taroko gorge 1/2 marathon & 10k. taroko gorge is a spectacularly beautiful natural landmark made of marble and limestone, and the taroko gorge marathon is the only marathon in the world that takes place in a gorge. karin was brave enough to run her first 10k ever (in a gorge!), and she was also kind and generous enough to run around taipei taking care of pre-run registration business. all i had to do was call in with my date of birth, but when i called in, i abruptly remembered (mid-call) that i couldn't speak chinese and hung up, never to call again. thanks to this omission, i came in 3rd place... that's right: the 3rd fastest woman in taiwan, ages 50-59. i've never been so proud.

on 11.12.09, taiwan's leading pro-independence newspaper, the liberty times, ran an article with the headline "AMERICAN SWEETHEART BECOMES A CROSSING GUARD." that sweetheart was none other than me, 柯愛琳 (ke ai-lin). accompanied by a big glamorous photo of me decked out in crossing-guard yellow, the article described my efforts to promote the english language while directing traffic and being extremely friendly. i was pretty shocked and entertained by my taiwanese media debut, but the aftershocks were almost more amusing. for instance: popping up on yahoo taiwan's home page for an afternoon, and receiving a letter from a taiwanese prisoner looking for an english teacher.

lastly, a formosan macaque on a scooter (who may not even be as funny as his buddy relaxing down below). few things are funnier than monkeys on scooters.






photos: taroko gorge marathon male winners (kenyan men in 1st and 2nd place; japanese man in 3rd-- finishing 30 minutes after the kenyans); 3rd place female (and the back of karin's head); gaoshu elementary school teachers reading all about it; 10 seconds of yahoo.tw fame; monkey mountain; bonus taroko gorge images

julie in taiwan

my good friend julie murry-murbunya left taiwan on sunday. during her whirlwind tour of the ilha formosa, she came to know not only stinky tofu and oyster omelets, but also aboriginal dancing in sandimen, hakka pottery in meinong, and a UNESCO world heritage temple in taipei. she also made lots of new friends-- most notably, mr. chung, shushu, gugu, karin, the coffee guys, and kitty who bravely swallowed her tears when learning of julie's imminent departure. julie's legacy in taiwan includes brand-new anglophied names for winston, malik, mariah, and dolly.










one highlight of julie's taiwan-venture was our trip to sandimen's indigenous people's cultural park, aka disney aborigine. in addition to incongruous cartoon aborigines illustrating the island's paiwan, amis, rukai, truku, and atayal tribes (among others), the park is full of rich and fascinating information about taiwan's original inhabitants. taiwan has 13 official tribes who make up only 2% of the island's population, and are considered part of the austronesian cultural and linguistic family. they're thought to have inhabited taiwan for over 8,000 years. while visiting the park, we encountered paiwan women embroidering traditional flower, snake, and butterfly designs-- we loved the way one woman scooped up tiny beads with her needle, and we were grateful for our beautiful new pink & green paiwan flower patches. we also loved the multi-tribe song & dance performance.









after a healthy dose of gaoshu-based exploration, we headed north to taipei. in the afternoon, we visited ximending's historic red house (built in 1908 by the japanese), received fancy hairstyles (see julie's curl), and ate noodles with a crowd of taiwanese in the street (1 out of 3 thumbs up). in the night, we witnessed outrageously beautiful chinese treasures at the national palace museum (mr. chung's favorites are the paintings), completed a reverential and jubilant prayer tour of bao'an temple (UNESCO-approved and over 200 years old), and took our fabulous friend and tour guide, mr. chung, out for a taiwan beer at the 7-11.

on sunday, julie flew to abu dhabi and i walked to the city's north gate which stands within a whisper of a busy taipei freeway. taipei's 4 other gates and city walls were destroyed during the japanese occupation. although several have been rebuilt, the north gate is the oldest and last of the original 5. here, i wished julie off and thanked taipei for all of its marvels. zai jian, julie!

photos: sandimen greeting; paiwan friendship flower patches; bead scooping; gugu & julie; H1N1-free in sandimen; picture time!; karin julie & eileen eat noodles in the street; saturday night at the 7; the north gate

eileen laoshi's rules

people love rules. "getting in trouble" instills fear, thrills, and contemplation at any age. rules need to be simple and few. at best, they apply not only to the specific situation at hand, but also to the broader circumstances of life at large. before the school year began, i gave some serious thought to my future students, their rights and responsibilities, and the tone i wanted to establish in gaoshu english 101. i wanted students to know what i expected, i needed to be able to point (literally) to my expectations, and i wanted to be able to illustrate all of these things in a simple & comprehensible way. here are my rules for life and foreign language class.

rule #1

a pretty straightforward rule-- the golden rule, the ethic of reciprocity, do unto others as you would have others do unto you, never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself. one day, as english class wound down, 3-4 rough & tumble boys stood up silently and simultaneously pounded clenched fists into open palms. they stood there staring at me, their fists in the air. my mind started to race, and i wondered if we were about to rumble. i looked over at my co-teacher and whispered, "why do they want to fight me?" she laughed and said that they were performing a martial arts salute of respect for their instructor. RESPECT.

rule #2

"if a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as michelangelo painted, or beethoven composed music, or shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well." --martin luther king, jr.

rule #3

know your responsibilities, and be prepared to carry them out no matter the circumstances. if your school has an assembly and there's no auditorium-- bring a chair. if the school bathroom needs to be cleaned and it's your day to clean it-- grab a hose and take off your shoes.

halloween: a 3-part series

halloween in taiwan, while not unheard of, is not automatic. kids might celebrate at their after-school cram school, or learn some holiday-specific vocabulary at regular school. adults might wonder how ghosts can be cause for celebration, when taiwanese "ghost day" is a time to steer clear of the ghosts who are released from hell for a breath of fresh air. halloween in taiwan is an english teacher's fantasy holiday: it comes with built-in incentives of fantasy, mock terror, and free candy. so mr. chung and i went for it-- a 3-part, 3-week-long halloween series.

part one: we warmed up our audience with an introduction to traditional pre-halloween activities. a small green gourd subbed for the big orange pumpkin, and we all discovered together just how difficult bobbing for apples really is. alan caught on immediately-- stems are key.

part two: my original play, "the dark & spooky forest," debuts. the set is a mr. chung original, and therefore completely fabulous. it features the return of the ever-popular smoke machine, courtesy of the gaoshu fire department. the sound effects include chainsaws, evil laughter, and cawing crows. the narrator is a fear-inducing pumpkinhead. the actors are terrified and perform their lines in single file line formation or hiding in the cloud of billowing smoke. the audience is confused and yet tolerant. the list of suggestions for improvement is long, and the kindhearted taiwanese teachers are not joking when they say, "just do it again!" brilliant idea. somehow, no one bats an eye.

part three: "the dark and spooky forest" returns, bigger badder and ten times better. the set now features hand-illustrated orange flags. the smoke wafts rather than billows. pumpkinhead is in color. the actors are fearless, they make use of their space, and best of all, they emote. their fear is palpable. they leap, they lunge, and they run screaming into the audience. no one even notices that it is a rerun.

part three and a half: thunderous applause for "the dark and spooky forest" has barely died down when gaoshu's great ghastly costume contest kicks off. grades 1-6 participate, and the criteria are fairly simple: be creative and use recycled or re-purposed materials. there will be 1 winner per grade, 1 grand prize, and a façade of audience participation. there are some truly mind-boggling costumes: hand-knotted wigs made from twine, elaborate collage capes, pipe cleaner internal organs, innumerable metamorphosed trash bags, and my very super top favorite, the newspaper-wrapped mummy boy. and with all of this creativity, the audience always cheers loudest for the kid in the mask. overruled. happy halloween!









photos: meinong jack-o-lantern & mr chung original mask; dark & spooky set; mummy boy; alan bobs with ease; 6th grader's 6th minute bobbing; scenes from the dark & spooky forest ("children did not like to go to the dark and spooky forest"/ "ahh! a mummy!"/ "just then, they saw a witch"/ "it's so scary!"); nature fairies; 2nd grade contestants; grand prize nominees (winners on L and R-- a tie)